June 2024
"You're not a true petrol-head until you've owned an Alfa Romeo"
[Jeremy Clarkson]
A long time ago I made myself a retirement promise - I would treat myself to something special in the car department.
I'd been driving SUVs for a few years; getting to and from work at stupid-o’-clock in the depths of winter, dog walking - accessing remote car parks, rural shows and muddy fields.
I made the rash decision that I no longer needed an SUV, and could return to an estate car1. I spent months trawling online reviews and YouTube videos trying to make the right choice.
A Mercedes C300 estate appeared to tick the boxes; four months old having been a Mercedes HQ company car.
Head 0:1 Heart
Ground clearance: Not great. Not ideal for muddy dogs and narrow, potholed country lanes. Signs of front spoiler damage from the previous owner. Grounding more than once on local routes. Most significant - damaged knee meniscus during access and egress.
Too much tech: The new tech was a big part of Mercedes' marketing, but I found it overly complicated to use. The touch-sensitive steering wheel buttons were an inaccurate pain. I found the large central infotainment screen to be too far away from the road sight line to be safe to use whilst driving. The lack of physical buttons and knobs was inconvenient.
Something loose: On every bend something was rolling around in the boot. Back to the dealer - a 14mm nut was rolling around under the battery compartment, assumed to have been there since manufacture - the previous owner had done nothing about this.
Regrettably, I had to be pragmatic, the Mercedes had to go. Mercedes offered the best trade-in, so a GLC it was. On returning to the dealer, he said he wasn't a fan of the lower ground clearance and the tech on the newer models - "Now you tell me!"
A GLC 300d with the older tech was sourced, older than the C300 and appeared to fit the bill. I could live without adaptive cruise control etc. Things were going well, until Scotland.
1,200 miles - the GLC ran flawlessly and proved an excellent long-distance cruiser. There are some truly excellent roads in Scotland, that should be 'fun' to drive - unfortunately, not with the GLC (purely subjective). Not engaging, had no 'spirit', not a car I would drive for fun. I needed to put the fun back into driving.
Head 1:0 Heart
More research, this time exclusively SUVs.
The Stelvio ticked all the boxes.
As the head of Alfa Romeo said: "We should drive for the pleasure of driving".2.
Head 1:1 Heart
So, I bought into the Alfa Romeo family.
There is something really special about an Alfa,
which I've never experienced with any other car.
If it's possible for an automobile to have a soul,
then an Alfa Romeo has one.